So last night I tuned in to watch the MTV VMAs anticipating the usual couture outfits, the controversial onstage outbursts, Queen Bey to continue serving lemonade and of course Bajan Bad Gal Rihanna to contribute an authentic Caribbean wine.

When I heard MTV were giving Kanye West a segment of the show to say anything he wanted, I’m not gonna lie; I rolled my eyes when he walked on stage, just simply because I just don’t understand much of what he says nowadays or maybe I’m just not tuning in correctly to his frequency.

Anyhow, skip to the introduction of his new video ‘Fade’ and the opening credits list Teyana Taylor, but at this point I was thinking that she would be contributing a few lyrical lines, because she is after all, a recording artist.

Well, nope! Ms. Taylor for the entire video basically served all kinds of BODY GOALS and gyms today, I am sure will see an increase in female memberships and owe a percentage of their profits to this young lady right here.

As a new mother, Teyana can give herself a round of applause because her body is on FYAH!.

Now I’m no expert on plastic surgery but the appearance of “under-boob” suggests a natural droop, sans silicon and her butt jiggles just enough to justify a realistic muscle to fat ratio (I have been watching too much Botched!).

So as I’m watching this chick dance on my screen, whilst chomping on a Forrero Rocher! I’m asking myself “What exactly does this chile eat?!” It sure ain’t Forrero Rocher (DAMMIT!).

 

Her personal trainer can get ready for more cheques because she is the poster child for getting your body right and tight.

This, my friend, is how you break the Internet, because the Teyana memes were locked, loaded and ready less than 5 minutes after the video premiered.

I don’t even know what the song is about, but what I do know is that this track will be remembered for Ms. Teyana Taylor dropping the mic without saying one damn word.

 

 

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